But to my surprise, the reviews, emails, and feedback started pouring in and apparently people liked it. That one little speech seemingly launched my career, giving way to MTV deals, interviews, documentary appearances, and tons of exposure. But even more important than that were the emails that started to flood my inbox. Emails from hundreds of guys around the world who had taken that speech to heart and had used the tools I presented to change their lives. It’s gotten to the point where one of the big highlights for me every day is reading those emails and answering questions. Realizing that you made a difference. Because that’s what it’s all about.

Suffice to say, I’m eternally grateful to Anthony “Dream” Johnson for all of his help, support, and encouragement, and in a few days I’m once again joining him and other world-famous speakers in Orlando to rock the house for this year’s epic 21 Convention.

It’s amazing how much has changed in only a year. Long term students have lost their virginity.

I’m actually really excited for this year’s event because the emphasis has evolved significantly in only 12 months. Starting in 2008 and continuing through to 2009 and this year, the focus of the 21 convention has shifted from “pickup” and “seduction” to “Men’s Success.” In my mind, that change is absolutely critical as it helps to break down many of the potentially damaging and dogmatic beliefs we used to hold in seduction and pickup.

It’s not that pickup or seduction is bad. On the contrary, this community has transformed my life and is responsible for just about everything I have today. But there’s also a dark side to the community, and (pardon the geek references) without the light, the darkness can easily consume you. I remember back in 2005 and 2006 when most of us were still running indirect game. The vast majority of our belief systems revolved around unworthiness, lacking confidence, and existing in a headspace of constantly trying to ‘trick’ people into liking us. That of course sounds ludicrous to me today, but at the time that was considered “normal.”

The 21 Convention is unique in the fact that it is consistently evolving due to Dream’s insane and borderline unhealthy passion obsession with improvement. But that kind of dedication is what makes him who he is and what makes this event so special. Along with many of 2009′s speakers, I will be joined this year alongside such prolific speakers as Mark Sisson, Rick Smith, Steve “El Topo” Mayeda, Daniel Rose, and others. Dream has managed to recruit some of the best instructors, mentors, speakers, and teachers in the world on topics such as exercise, body building, entrepreneurship, health, sex, spirituality, and of course, pickup. If you attend no other live event this year, make it a point to join us in Orlando next weekend. It’s an event you won’t want to miss.

Sign up here for a special discounted rate and as an added bonus, if you sign up now I’ll also throw in a FREE 30-minute consultation/1-on-1 session with you in Orlando. Just send me an email after you’ve signed up and I’ll get you scheduled in. Prices are going up again (over $100) in 3 days so don’t wait!

Oh and I almost forgot, I’ll be offering in-field training in Orlando as well on both Friday and Saturday nights. I have extremely limited availability and sign ups are first-come, first-serve, so don’t procrastinate on this.

Find out more information on infield training here.

Hope to see all of you guys there.

When it comes to reading (pickup stuff or otherwise) I tend to be a very critical thinker. When I come across new ideas I’ll read with an open mind, absorb the content, and then filter it through what I call an exceptions list. It’s something we do in computer programming. Basically I take the claims made in the article and I compare them to my experiences to see if I can find exceptions. The more exceptions and contradictions I find, the less I trust the content and author. Conversely, the more things that I find resonates with my experiences, the more weight I tend to place on the ideas I don’t have experience with.

Because the “pickup” industry is largely unregulated, I often find that the quality of advice or instruction is scattered, at best. Some posts are amazingly accurate and well-written, while others are nothing more than, for lack of a better term, “mental masturbation.” The problem is that when you’re new to the industry, you can’t tell the signal from the noise. Some of the craziest-sounding stuff actually turns out to be brilliant, while some of the stuff that sounds legitimate ends up being written by a 40-year-old virgin. To the inexperienced, everyone can sound convincing over the internet.

So thus my love-hate relationship with forum posts. But every once in a blue moon I stumble across a post and think, “wow this guy knows what he’s talking about.” And then sometimes that person surprises me again with a repeat performance. And then again. And then again. While extraordinarily rare, when this happens I make it a point to meet the author. The first time it ever happened, that man happened to go by the name of “Mystery.” Like him or not, no one can deny that his ideas have revolutionized the industry like no other.

I had another one of those rare moments recently when I come across an author whose insight rivaled those of the previous authors I had met. I took note and met him. He was the real deal.

That man was Chase Amante.

Chase is one of the few guys in the community whose online posts make me realize how bad of a writer I am. His ability to break down, motivate, and encourage people with nothing more than an internet connection continues to astound me.

So I take great pleasure in sharing some of his wisdom with you today. Chase has graciously allowed me to re-post this article on my blog. In it he talks about what it takes to be successful, finding your passions, and following your dreams. It’s only a 5 minute read, but it’s some deep stuff and it’s one of the best articles I’ve EVER read in my going-on-5-years in this industry.

Enjoy.

Backstory: A member of the forum was dissatisfied with his inability to make friends or achieve consistent results. He felt that people didn’t like being around him despite his occasional successes with women. This is Chase’s response.

Note: I have removed certain identifying details to preserve confidentiality

…

I’ll clarify a bit.

The things I got good at, I got good at because I wanted to BE those things.

e.g., I started working on my writing because I said to myself, “I want to be a good writer and I want people to read my stuff and like it, so I’m going to start writing short stories to practice my writing ability and get my writing in shape.”  I got into music because I wanted people to hear my music and play it in the clubs and I wanted to send a message out to all my old (perceived) enemies that I was better and stronger than them and make them regret ending up on my bad side (not the best reason, but it sufficed), so I spent a lot of time working on making beats and writing lyrics.

The actual learning process for those things (and everything else I got good at) was hard work and not always fun.  In fact, OFTEN not fun.  But it was fueled by my desire to achieve something.

I once heard some great advice about body-building, that helped me out of a rut in lifting at the time (don’t lift so much anymore, but at the time this was useful).  I’d be in the gym all the time, 3 days a week, but I didn’t WANT to be there, and I was forcing myself through my workouts and not making any progress.  I’d plateaued.  But the advice I heard changed that.

It was, “Don’t concentrate on how hard the work you’re doing is; that’ll just discourage you.  Think instead about where you want to be, and what you want to achieve.  That will inspire you.”

And it did.

The instant I started thinking of how great it would be when my arms were bigger, when my chest was bigger, when my legs were bigger, that made my workouts SO much easier, than when I was thinking working out was just something I had to do to not lose what I had.

That is advice you must apply to everything you seek to do.

I hear men all the time who say things like, “Don’t do something just to get girls.  Do it for YOU.”

Know what I think of that?  It’s feelgood malarky.  Somewhere along the line, as men do things, they grow to truly love them, I’ll give you that.

But for most men with a sex drive, women are their inspirations to take things up.  Tell me a guy working as a lifeguard is doing it purely because he loves saving drowning old men, and not because he’s hoping to win over some cuties in bikinis, and I’ll tell you you’re lying.  Tell me a guy who’s a talented performer at anything didn’t get into it at least in part because of all the women it would bring him.  It’s all about mating when you boil things down to the basics.

There is a large population of eunuchs in India, but to my knowledge not a whole lot of them are exceptionally talented athletes or performers or writers or anything else.  Because they can’t mate, they lack the drive to put in the work to become exceptional at anything.  And it really is all about the work you put in.

The drive to become great is the drive to out-compete other males and differentiate oneself in a competitive mating environment.  When I was in school, I used to struggle to talk to girls.  But let them hear me belt out a freestyle battle and tear a couple of people down, and they’d be surrounding me with puppy dog eyes wanting to know everything about me.

Check out this (phenomenal, in my opinion) study on the crime-genius connection:  it charts the productivity of both criminals and geniuses over their lifetimes:

https://www.lse.ac.uk/collections/MES/pdf/JRP2003.pdf

What the chart ends up looking like is that productivity peaks at 30, then declines steeply thereafter.  Just as most men are settling into married life and raising families, their productivity (and, we might infer, their motivation to be productive — attracting mates) drops precipitously.

The findings are summarized by this short excerpt:

“Both crime and genius are expressions of young men’s proximate competitive desires, whose ultimate function in the ancestral environment would have been to increase reproductive success.”

I’d argue that, in fact, that function is just as important today.  Men who become more talented and successful than others attract both higher qualities and higher quantities of mates, and I’ve seen this in a variety of men.  Personally, I don’t know any man I’d consider truly exceptional who has any real problems with quality or quantity of women.  And conversely, I don’t know any man I’d consider average who has any real SUCCESS with quality or quantity of women.

You should not take up new hobbies JUST to get girls.  But it’s likely going to be part of your motivation, so no sense trying to hide from it.  That said, pick stuff that interests you or that will help you achieve objectives you have.

You asked how I came across my interests and hobbies.  Well, there is a part of me that’s inclined to them, for sure.  I wrote my first book when I was ten; and I used to make up songs when I was a little kid.  I was fascinated by people and conducted my first “social experiment” when I was twelve (I took off my glasses and wore a coat with the local football team on it to see if my reception by my classmates, who at the time thought of me as the nerdiest kid in school, would change — it did, and even after I went back to my old gear, the change lasted, strangely enough — people just began seeing me differently and treating me differently).  Some people are inclined towards sports.  Some towards the arts.  Others toward relationships and people.  Some to all of those, or to something else completely different.  Let your inclinations steer your interests.

But that said, getting good at something is a LOT of hard work.  I began working on writing and basketball shooting the summer after high school.  I wasn’t going to college, I had no friends, no girlfriend, no job, and no direction in life at all.  I had no idea what I was going to do with my life… I felt empty and purposeless.  So I let my dreams take over; I was reading a lot of H.P. Lovecraft at the time and watching a lot of Sixers basketball, back when they went to the finals against the world-class Lakers and Allen Iverson was the scoring champ of the NBA.  I wanted to be a famous, revered writer, and I wanted to be the best player in the NBA.  So all I did was write and play basketball by myself, all day long.  A year later, I was a vastly improved writer, and vastly improved at basketball, too.  I’d never made a basket before that summer, but a year later I could make all kinds of crazy shots (still couldn’t play actual GAMES for shit, but that was only because I had trained by myself, rather than for games).

And my writing went from Bs and Cs in high school to A+ when I entered college, with the teacher asking me to volunteer (as she had no one else) because, she said, she wanted the class to see my writing.  I wrote the first draft for my first novel that semester, before turning my interest from writing to rap.  Then it was because I wanted to become a famous, well-known rap artist.  And I was thorough in how I did it; I watched the other wanna-be rappers, and learned from their mistakes and vowed not to repeat them.  I didn’t want to be tryhard; I wanted to be real.  I wanted people to say, “You know, Chase isn’t like all those posers who think they’re the shit; his stuff is LEGIT.”  And I forced myself to slave away at music, and I forced myself to stay the course when I put my first website online and people came back making fun of my then-crappy music and silly presentation.  I shook the haters off, went back, got better, and came back vastly improved and victorious.

It was hard work, all of it.

Writing one crappy story after another, and knowing they were amateurish, but continuing to write anyway and trying to find ways to refine my ability to write better.

Shooting basketballs in 100+ degree Pennsylvania heat with perspiration dripping down my chest, 100+ and missing basket after basket and getting pissed off and frustrated but refusing to go back inside until I hit more.

Rapping lyrics over a beat over and over and over again, and getting angry beyond belief that I kept running out of breath, or kept stumbling over my words, or kept building up too much saliva in my mouth and choking over it.

Going out night after night after night and never getting so much as a kiss from a girl, and coming home empty handed feeling like a failure, and continuing to go back out again the next night.

I wish I had the kind of drive and ambition that most of my friends have. They are genuinely excited, dynamic people, and I think if I had the kind of energy and motivation they have, I could be 10 times as good at the things I do than I am.

Because I burn out, I wear out, I get frustrated, and I’m really a pretty lazy guy by nature.

But I have one thing that keeps me in the running with all of my ambitious, dynamic, motivated friends, for whom most of what they do seems to come so easily, where for me it’s always been a challenge:

I will push myself to the limit.  I will take myself down the road past the point of no-return and keep going anyway.

I never save anything for the swim back.

I sometimes feel like an outsider who’s infiltrated the ranks of the elite when I spend time with my friends.  Here are all these people living unbelievable lifestyles, adventuring around the world, doing crazy things, skydiving, racing cars, making tons of money, with this lust and passion for life that I can only understand intellectually.  But I want to be as good as they are at what they do, so I do the things they do, sometimes not quite as good as them, sometimes better, and they think of me as like them, or even crazier / wilder / more talented than they are.  My lust is not for the adventure itself, like it is for them, but rather for what I can learn from that adventure, and how I can improve myself by having had that experience.

I spent most of my life ruled by my fears, and the only way I overcame them was by doing the most dangerous things I could think of, physically, mentally, or emotionally, to break their hold on me.

You have some things about you that remind me in some ways of myself.

You have a lot of the same kind of stubborn, blockheaded determination I’ve always prided myself on and that I saw as something that differentiated me from nearly everyone else.  And like you, I was never all that good at following advice, at least not until age 23 or so (and even then, I listened only to a select few people whose advice I really trusted, and even then I listened to them probably only 50% of the time).  And like me, you claim to not care what people think.

The (conventionally) coolest kid in school wrote this in my high school yearbook, senior year:  “You don’t care what anyone thinks, but I think you’re the MAN!” before leaving me his home phone (these were back in the days when cells were still uncommon… damn I’m showing my age) and telling me we had to hang that summer.  I never did call him, even though I thought he was a really cool dude (finally did hang with him a few years back, incidentally — still a cool dude)… I was deathly afraid of the phone in those days.  Point is, people my whole life have told me I don’t give a fuck what anyone thinks, and they think that is so cool.  And I feed into it too; I love telling people I don’t care what anyone thinks.

I’ll step outside of myself for a moment and say that, the truth is, the people who say they don’t care what people think care more than anyone else.

If you didn’t care what people thought, you wouldn’t be on here telling people how many approaches you’ve done, how many lays you’ve had, or posting pictures of your girlfriend — would you?  No… a guy who didn’t give a fuck about what people thought about him wouldn’t do any of that.  You care, just like I do, and just like everyone else who posts actively on this board does.

Anyway… putting my old skin back on.  Of course *I* don’t care what anyone thinks haha

Regarding your last question, I am a dreamer.  And I’m a big believer in chasing your dreams.

When I wanted to be a famous writer, and a famous basketball player, I wrote my heart out and played my heart out, until my dreams changed.

When I wanted to become the best salesman in the district and the next big rap artist, I sold my heart out and rapped my heart out until my dreams changed again.

When I wanted to become a world-class pickup artist, I went out by myself and talked to one person after another after another, and talked to one girl after another after another, until my dreams began to change again.

So how I found my hobbies was simple:  I followed my dreams.

Most people dream dreams and never take action on them.  I’m leaving the country now, with no plans, no set path to follow, and no idea of what’s to come.  Because, for now, that is my dream.  And someday my dream will change again, and I will embark on a different path.

You like movies.  I love the movie “Collateral”, with Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise.  What I love about it is how Tom Cruise comes into Jamie Foxx’s life for one night and makes a gigantic impact.  He makes Jamie Foxx realize that he has this dream he’s been holding onto for twelve years or more and has never taken action on.  Never taken the first step.

What are your dreams, [name removed]?  Answer that, and you’ll know what you need to start working on.

Best,

Chase

A lot of guys think I get opened a lot when I’m out either teaching or sarging. But the truth of the matter is that while it APPEARS that several dozen women approach me each night, they’re actually only responding to my non-verbal opening earlier in the night. They’re not walking up cold, they’re usually walking up because I was flirting with them through eye contact earlier on in the night.

Eye contact is one of THE most important elements in flirting and pickup. It’s also something that is VASTLY underrated. An inability to hold eye contact will screw up even the most solid interaction in a matter of seconds.

Here’s how to make it work:

1.) When you make eye contact with a woman, whether it be someone walking by or from across the bar, hold it and don’t look away until she does.

2.) You must smile when you make eye contact. If you don’t, you’re going to look less sexy and more rapist. Ditto for blinking. Gaze, but don’t stare.

3.) I like to wink. A lot. It sounds super cheesy on paper but in the moment it’s VERY effective. Sort of like a high 5. Sounds dumb on paper but works like a charm infield. This is the only time I’ll break eye contact. Say I’m walking by the bar and I make eye contact with a woman. I’ll hold the eye contact, smile, then wink and look away as I pass by her. Note that all of this is done slowly and smoothly. Jerky movements will look weird.

As a training experiment, walk down the street and try to make eye contact with everyone you walk by. When you do, smile and say hi as you pass. Unless you’re used to doing this, you’ll generally find it fairly difficult and uncomfortable. Repeat until you become comfortable with it. This will massively improve your non-verbal communication.

Give it a try and feel free to report back on your experiences in the comments.

The event hosts also presented me with the “best fundamentals” award which was pretty cool, despite it looking like a Mystery-VH1-Medallion. All in all, a great event.

This coming week is the second (and ironically, original) Superconference, the 2010 Dating Conference. Not sure why organizers would pick a domain name that has to be changed every year, but perhaps there’s a method to the madness. In either case, the lineup looks very strong, with speakers including Adam Lyons (who hopefully doesn’t make me look bad as he speaks after me ), BradP, Vin diCarlo, Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks, Entropy, Magic, and others.

If you missed last week’s conference, or if you just want to double up on the massive amount of value being presented at these events, sign up today. Use Code “djfuji2010″ for an additional $15 discount and a free 30-minute LIVE coaching session at the actual event!

I’ll also be offering infield training after the event on Friday and Saturday nights. Price is normally $600/night but event organizers have asked me to discount that so you’ll be able to go infield for nearly a 20% discount! There will only be 3 spots available per night on a first-come, first-serve basis, so make sure you don’t procrastinate on this. Email me to sign up today!

In a ‘pickup’ type interaction, most humor comes from combining general technique (e.g., sarcasm, exaggeration, etc.) with sound bites (“that’s what she said”). It’s not that different from stand up comedy, where a comic combines a routine stack of stand up techniques (e.g., setup-punch) with improvised sound bites (especially in response to hecklers in the audience).

Keep in mind that MANY of these sound bites are not original. I’ve stolen borrowed from naturals, stand up comedians, pickup gurus, and even students. When possible, I will make every attempt to credit the author though at times I don’t remember the source. This list is also obviously not comprehensive — it is simply a small sample of some of my favorite sound bites and humor based routines from the top of my head.

As with any type of routine, these lines are NOT magic. They will not work if you don’t deliver them correctly. In fact, I’d say about 80% of their effectiveness is delivery based.

Enjoy.

Flex-Teasing (Credit: JamesSF… I think)

Me: “You’re buff. That’s hot. Let me feel your guns. Flex for me.”

Girl: *Flexes*

Me: *feel her arm* “No, really, flex for me.”

Girl: *Flexes again*

Me: *still feeling her arm* “No, for real”

Girl: “Shut up!” *Punches you*

Fungus IOI (Credit: ex-gf)

“You know… you’re growing on me… like a fungus kinda…”

Talkin’ Shit (Credit: Stand Up Comic from La Jolla Comedy Store)

“Girl, you wanna step to this, you betta bring a ladder”

My Version of Good Girl/Bad Girl (Original Version Credit: Tyler Durden(i think?) Humor follow up sound bite courtesy of the always funny Robbie Kramer)

“ohhh… so you’re the good one and you’re the bad one. I knew it. It’s sooo obvious. I think I need a note from my mom before I talk to you.”

Classic Little Sisters Banter (Credit: No idea, been around forever)

“You guys are ADORABLE. You’re like my little sisters.”

Propeller Dork (Credit: No idea. Oldie but goodie)

“You are SUCH a dork. I’m going to buy you one of those hats with a propeller on top”

Elf Shoes (Credit: Can’t remember. Might be original)

“I fucking LOVE your shoes. But uh… how do you feel about the elf that you clearly stole them from?”

Fat Kid Cocky Funny (Credit: David DeAngelo (I think?))

Me: “Stop looking at me like that.”

Girl: “Like what?”

Me: “You’re looking at me like a fat kid looks at a cheeseburger. That’s not cool. I’m not a piece of meat. I have feelings too, you know.”

More Cocky Funny (Credit: Various — David D, Zan, et al.)

• “LADY, MY EYES ARE UP HERE”
• “Stop trying to get me drunk so you can take advantage of me”
• “I’m SO out of your league.”
• “Oh I’m way too high maintenance for you.”
• (when she offers you a sip of her drink) “no thanks, i’m not that fond of the roofie-colada” (Credit: Kamouflage)
• “Stop trying to start fights just so you can get make up sex.”

Teasing/Treating Her Like a Kid (Credit: Various. Some original.)

• Aww you’re so CUUUUTE when you’re angry! *pinch her cheeks like a grandma*
• “I’m rubber, you’re glue, everything you say bounces off me and sticks back on you.”
• *Pat her on the head like a dog* “You’re cute.” Optionally: “Good girl.” Followed up with: “Sit.”
• “Isn’t it past your bedtime?”

Imaginary Friends (DJ Fuji Original Routine)

Me: “Who are you here with?”

Her: “Oh um my friends. They’re in the bathroom”

Me: *Give her weird look*

Me: *Give her look like “Oh I understand”*

Me: “Ohhh… you don’t really HAVE any friends… that’s okay honey… we all have imaginary friends sometimes. (*pat her patronizingly*) I like your imaginary friends. Ashley is so sweet. But Brooke is a bitch. She totally stole Mary’s boyfriend and that’s just NOT cool at all.”

Yawning (Unknown)

Yawn loudly and then make your yawns progressively longer and louder until you get that “how rude!” look or a hit on the arm. Then say, “No, no please continue… I ALWAYS yawn when I’m interested”.

Tinkle (DJ Fuji)

“I love how girls have to let you know they’re not going poo. They’re always like ‘i have to tinkle.’ So if you ever just say you’re going to the restroom, I’ll know not to use it after you.”

Misc

• “You are so adorkable”
• (If she interrupts you) “I’m sorry for talking while you were interrupting”

Farted Opener (not tactically sound but OH so funny)

“Excuse me, do you ladies care if i hang out with you until its safe back over there where i farted?”

Good Kisser (Credit: Kamouflage)

*point to your cheek, insinuating you want a kiss*

She kisses your cheek.

“omg you’re SUCH a good kisser.”

Starfish

• Knock Knock
• Who’s there?
• Interrupting starfish
• Interrupt..(grab their face with your hand)

Various Soundbites Shamelessly Stolen from Philos

• (When she does something stupid or embarrassing) You know, you’re lucky you’re so adorable.
• I think I’m falling in like with you.
• I don’t just like you, I like-like you….that’s almost as much as two likes.
• [you trip in fall in front of a set] Still single, ladies.
• She goes to shake your hand: Let’s bring it in for the big thing. [hug]
• [she acts slightly offended to what you just said] Okay, you can’t get all…ewwww…and fucking LILITH FAIR on me like this.
• Call me if you need a hug.
• Don’t stand so. Don’t stand so. Don’t stand so close to me.
• If you were a man, I’d punch you right in the neck.
• Her: Have you ever been in love? Me: Other than with myself?
• Something smells great in here…Oh it’s me.
• When you open and a girl gives you negative body language (to her friends):
  “Can you tell her to be nicer to me. She looks like she’s trying to scare away little children with that scowl and it’s hurting my feelings.”
• You’re really adorable when you sleep. Up until you fart. Then it’s not so adorable.

Click to View

I’ve been kind of behind on updating you guys with news and stuff so here are a few updates.

First and foremost, the long-anticipated 21 Convention Documentary Series titled “The Community Tapes” just launched earlier this week with yours truly starting things off. Like with everything he does, including the actual 21 Convention live events, Anthony aka “Dream” really went all-out for this event. One look at even the filming quality (courtesy of the esteemed Michael Gottino) makes that very clear. Other featured documentary interviewees include Steve “El Topo” Mayeda, Drew Baye, Adam Lyons, and Bijal (t21c attendee). I have a lot of respect for those guys and I’m excited to see what they have to say.

As you’ll see in my interview, this series kind of takes us behind-the-scenes and into the minds of some of the speakers that have been featured at the live event. In my segment I talked about my journey, what I’ve learned and gotten from the community, and some of my insights and observations in being a life and dating coach. Take a look and let me know how you guys like it.

In keeping with this “behind-the-scenes” theme, I’ve also recently been featured/interviewed on the J The Ripper Show. JTR’s show is kind of unique. Instead of making it about pickup, he’s made a show that takes a very real, somewhat gritty look at seduction and specifically, the Casanova Crew. It’s neither the puahate/BKRS-style bashing nor the marketing-style promoting of most podcasts. Instead, he takes a documentary-style viewpoint, showing things as unbiased as possible and letting his audience make up their minds for themselves.

I like JTR. He and I go way back, and he’s one of those guys who’s just real. I remember reading his crazy FRs/LRs back in the day and I remember telling him at one point that despite all of the crazy adventures, I liked that he kept it real — for every pull/SNL/day2/whatever, he also included the blow outs, the rejections, and the ‘failures.’ Very, very few guys do that, coaches included. The guy definitely has some wicked skills, but he’s also somehow managed to stay humble, and I think that quality combined with his leadership ability plays a very large part in the success of the Casanova Crew. For an organization of that size, I’m impressed that one man has been able to keep it together this consistently and with near-universal respect among the members. Kudos to JTR for making that happen.

Download here (right-click and choose ‘save as’) or  Stream here (episode 13)

Here are JTR’s highlights from the show:

Behind the PUA Industry Part Deux!

Khan, the “Anti PUA”, writer for HUSTLER Magazine and Robotech comic book writer. Former Casanova Crew member.

*Afraid of RSD?!
*Afraid of J The Ripper?!?!
*Fake ass PUA Guru’s blowing smoke up dudes asses.
*Behind the scenes PUA Industry bullshit stuff Khan wasn’t supposed to know
*Guru’s spewing rehearsed methodologies vs. talking from the heart and keeping it real
*Certain Guru’s pathetically deceptively trying to pass off “sales letters” as actual FR/LR’s
*Khans encounter with a “professional guru”
*JTR Makes Out with Tichina Arnold from “Martin” & “Everyone Hates Chris”?
*Getting laid from bar girls vs. club chicks

DJ Fuji from the Dr Phil Show and Ex-Mehow Chief Instructor!

*Most Disfigured/Handicapped student (answer might surprise you!)
*Getting picked on when he was younger
*Joining the Marines and being under pressure
*Fake ass gurus thinking they can just come into this shit without paying thier dues
*Having two chicks stick their hands under his clothes while boyfriends watch
*Making out with chicks as chode boyfriend watches on
*Being on the Dr. Phil Show
*How he met Mehow and Mystery
*Was he disappointed in anyone’s performance on Infield Insider?
*Becoming Mehow’s #1 coach

For those of you who are in the Northern CA/bay area, I’ll be speaking FREE at the San Francisco Lair this weekend (6PM Sunday, May 2, 2010). I guess it’s not technically free because they’re asking for a small donation to help cover the costs of the seminar room, but I’m speaking entirely pro-bono (no charge).

I’ll be giving away over $1000 in free goodies, and will be doing a 3-hour free mini-workshop. AND in typical DJ Fuji-fashion, I’m ALSO letting you know a WHOLE 2 days in advance lol. Hey I’m a minority. We procrastinate, remember? Technically this is early. And you ain’t doing anything on Sunday afternoon anyway. Come down and say hello and meet a great group of local guys.

I’ll be covering things like:

• The simple technique you can learn in 10 minutes that will eliminate 90% of flakey phone numbers
• The keys to transitioning your interactions OUT of platonic-friend-zones
• Why the vast majority of guys fail in pickup… and what you can do to avoid being a statistic
• A complete breakdown of kinesthetic communication – how to touch, where to touch, when to touch, and why it’s 10x more important than you think it is
• The 5 mistakes you’re making right now that are preventing you from getting laid
• Tons and TONS more content… you aren’t going to want to miss this. It’s not a ‘lair talk,’ it’s a full-on, 3-hour workshop

Sign up here

Quick reminder for those of you not on my email list that I’ll be speaking back-to-back at two giant New York City conferences next month. I’ll be speaking alongside some of the biggest names in the industry (Ross Jeffries, BradP, Love Systems, etc.) over three days each weekend and may offer discounted infield training while I’m in the city. If you live on the East Coast, you don’t want to miss this.

NYC Global Pickup Conference

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The first is New York City’s Global Pickup Conference. Run by the head of probably the biggest lair in NYC, this star-studded event looks pretty badass. Speakers include David Wygant, Vin DiCarlo, Ross Jeffries, El Topo, BradP, and of course your favorite mohawked Asian. The most interesting thing about this event is that it comes with 1 day of infield training included (which I’ll be participating in teaching) and a TON of free goodies. It’s really the first time I’ve ever seen a superconference-type event offer that. Infield training is the gold standard in the development process so this is definitely something you want to take advantage of. It’s a first-year event but I would be highly surprised if this didn’t take off for many years to come. Dates are May 28 – May 31.

Prices are super low for what they’re offering but they’re going up as we get closer to the event, so don’t hold off on this. I’ve arranged with the organizer to get you guys a special deal when you sign up. You’ll get a $15 discount off the already dirt-cheap price and a free 30-minute 1-on-1 video coaching session with me.

Dating Conference 2010

Oddly enough, I’ll ALSO be speaking at another NYC event, and it’s a week later, on June 4-6. Also a first year event, The Dating Conference 2010 also features some big, big names, many of which will speak at both events. But instead of Ross Jeffries, you have Adam Lyons. Instead of Dr. Paul, you have Magic (Side note: If you’re an indian guy reading this and thinking that Indian guys can’t get good at this, you need to meet Magic). There will also be an open bar, lots of goodies and freebies, and perhaps best of all, access to ALL of the video and audio recordings from the event. That means that if you miss a speaker or want to hear his speech again, you will be able to watch it again online and take notes. That’s a HUGE plus, as there’s only so much you can gain from a speech when you only watch it once. There won’t be included infield training, but I will be doing heavily-discounted coaching that weekend that you can take advantage of. The upside to that is that the student-instructor ratios will be lower and thus, you will receive much more individual attention.

Prices for this event are a bit higher but I have also arranged for some cool deals and discounts for you guys. Sign up now using code “djfuji2010″ and get $15 off the ticket price. Then email me and I’ll throw in a free 30-minute 1-on-1 *LIVE coaching session at the actual event! Sign up here

I'm so tempted to troll this caption with pickup company names

Hey guys,

Another (relatively) quick tip of the week here. Last week Dan from WordOfDan commented on the dancing monkey syndrome:

I’m curious how you’d suggest guys using routines adopt this mindset. After all, if you’re learning a line someone else gave you, that THEY found funny and had success with, it seems like it would come off at best, dancing monkey. Your physical jokes seem to be able to bypass that a little bit, but what about other people’s stories, teases, etc.?

Really, really good question that I probably should have thought about in the original article. I’ll expand upon this more in a future segment of my Routines Series Articles, but the short answer is to follow the same self-amusement paradigm. That is, when using scripts or routines that aren’t your own, use ones that *you* like or find interest/funny. Remember that with routines, delivery is 90% of the battle. The routines aren’t magic. They’re training wheels. So even though you’re going to use someone else’s material, you’re going to pick and choose based on if it is interesting or funny to you. It’s very, very difficult to self-amuse or get a good reaction from a routine you don’t find funny. It doesn’t necessarily mean the routine is bad, it just means that it didn’t particularly resonate with you. And if you don’t vibe with it, your audience won’t either.

On that note, I also want to briefly talk about the power of humor. It’s ironic that in the seduction community, humor is one of those tools that we all know is effective, but is still severely overlooked and underappreciated. Humor isn’t the end-all-be-all to pickup, but it *is* a very effective tool. If you’re like me and you’re not a naturally funny guy, learn it. Take stand up classes, improv comedy, read books, watch live stand up, hang out with funny naturals, and do whatever it takes to develop it. Humor will allow you to disguise escalation, strategically relieve tension, pump buying temperature, handle AMOGs and C/Bs, hold and set frames, and operate within damage control. It had one of the biggest impacts once I incorporated it into my game. No other tool in pickup is as versatile or will get you out of a jam as effectively as humor. It’s partly why I teach improvisational humor and wit in my training and boot camps. It’s that important.

Learn it. Master it. Internalize it.

See you guys next week. Same bat time, same bat channel.

But before we get too deep into it, let’s first back up and actually make sure we understand the idea. Self-amusement is something I believe I first heard about from the esteemed Tyler Durden of Real Social Dynamics, one of the most well-respected men in this industry and someone who had a huge impact on my own development, both as a practitioner and as a coach.

Although I’m sure the concept had been around forever, Tyler was the first to initially codify it for me.

The basic premise is this:

“Dancing monkey” syndrome occurs when people you’re talking to realize that the value or entertainment you’re providing (humor, being interesting, etc.) is coming from a place of validation or acceptance-seeking. In other words, you’re not doing things because you genuinely enjoy the experience or enjoy connecting with others — you’re doing these things to impress people; you’re doing things to make people like you. This means that even if you’re saying or doing the right things, if the mindset in which it’s coming from is flawed, you will still communicate low value (read: unattractive) behavior.

The solution to Dancing Monkey Syndrome is to “be Self-Amusing.” In other words, don’t do things because you want people to like you or you want their acceptance. Do things because you want to do them. Because it makes you laugh. Because you like doing it. Because it amuses you first.

Now of course, that doesn’t mean you go around like a sadist and put people down and make them feel bad to amuse yourself. (Although if that’s your first thought, you have bigger issues than just pickup.) But what it does mean is that your mindset must be in the correct place or nothing you say will “work.”

Those are all prime examples of someone who said the right things but didn’t have the right mindset. Mindsets are some of the most powerful tools we have in communication and social interactions. They can shape our beliefs, change the way we see and interpret the world, and alter the way people feel around us.

In the case of self-amusement, the mindsets should be things like:

“I enjoy interacting with people.”

“People enjoy my company.”

“I’m having fun amusing myself here.”

Your mindsets should NOT be anything like:

“I need them to accept me.”

“I’m unattractive but these lines will make them like me.”

“I need these people to validate me.”

Now that we understand Self-Amusement, let’s look at some examples of things I personally use that exemplify the concept. Note that while these things can demonstrate and teach you the correct mindset, you should still be focusing on the mindset that creates them more than the words and mechanics of the tactic.

Let’s begin:

• In mid-sentence I’ll interrupt myself, point at her shirt, and say, “what is that? I think you spilled something.” When she looks down, yup, you guessed it — she gets a finger flick to the nose. Ladies and Gents, 2nd grade is now in session… again.
• Try to convince her of things that are blatantly untrue. Telling her I’m half black. That my hair is really a wig. That I’m really from Kenya. And that I ran to the club in my bare feet. You get the idea. I do most of this with a semi-straight face, as if I’m really trying to convince her of my bullshit.
• Shake hands. Scratch your nose right after. Sniff. Smell your hand like you just noticed something. Comment to her, “your hands… they smell like onions.” She’ll smell her palms. *whack*. You hit the back of her palm and she hits herself in the face. Laugh. (Credit for this variation goes to one of my students though I can’t remember who. If you’re reading this, email me and remind me.)
• If she ever yawns open-mouthed, put your finger in her open mouth. Unless she’s very comfortable with you, it will cut her yawn short, resulting in a very uncomfortable “my-sneeze-just-died” feeling. Laugh.

These are obviously only the tip of the iceberg. Again, the idea is that you live in your own reality and you amuse yourself and aren’t trying to “get something” from them. You don’t reek of an agenda. You don’t need anything from them. You don’t say funny or interesting things to get them to like you. Everything is done because you want to do it.

Hope this helps clear some things up. Leave questions, criticisms, comments, death threats, etc., in the comments below.