I have a love/hate relationship with failure. That is, for the first few years of my journey, failure loved me and I absolutely hated it. It often felt like a dark cloud that would follow me around all the time. But despite all of my disadvantages in dating (5’4″, asian, introvert, lacking social skills, etc), I eventually acquired one thing that helped me overcome all of that — I had a friend who taught me that my biggest weakness wasn’t anything I could see, touch, or observe. Read the rest of this entry »

Merry Xmas, all. Hope you are all spending time with family and loved ones. I actually have a present for all of you which I’ll get to in a minute.

But first I wanted to address a question I received via email today that I’m guessing a LOT of you are wondering about:

Hey man, love the blog. I have a question about routines. When I got started I used a bunch of routines for the attraction phase and got decent results out of it. By the end I could get phone numbers on a pretty consistent basis, and some were flaky but some were solid. I wanted to check my skill level without routines so I started using a social opener, and then following it up with relying on my conversation skills off the bat. What I find is that most conversations went well, but some girls would just stand around and give one word input indefinitely. I imagine this is sometimes because they aren’t interested, and sometimes because they are just boring, so in either case I usually just walk away after a minute. Is there something I am missing here? Am I being too quick to judge? If so, what’s the best way to deal with this contingency? -J

Read the rest of this entry »

As of today, you now have 11 days left in the year 2010. Seems like the year flew by, huh? I know it did for me.

Most of us are probably thinking about New Years, or Christmas, or what our resolutions are going to be for 2011. But don’t wait for January to start doing things. Here are seven things (in no particular order) you can and should do in the next 11 days to close out 2010 with a bang. Read the rest of this entry »

Don't be a pussy.

Last week I kind of stirred the pot a bit with Part 1 of the Top 10 Myths. If you haven’t read it yet, start there.

This week we’re going to continue with the Top 5. You’ll notice most of the things in this list revolve around the myths created by the marketing and the deification of the ‘gurus’ in the industry. But I won’t spoil it all yet.

Let’s get into it. Read the rest of this entry »

Like any community or industry where most of the consumers are after quick-fixes and instant results, the seduction community definitely has its fair share of myths, mistruths, and sometimes outright lies. Some of these are obvious, but many elude even seasoned veterans of this industry. Combine ambiguity and vagueness in content and material, marketing hype, and even intentional misinformation, and what you get is an industry where the average consumer is understandably lost.

Like the spot training myth of the fitness industry, many of these community myths come about as a result of aggressive marketing campaigns and outright dishonest sales copy hype.

Let’s take a look at Part 1 of the Top 10 Worst Myths in the Seduction Community.
Read the rest of this entry »

I last covered the idea of bottle service when I showed you guys how to skip the line to get into the club. But today I want to cover a pitfall to bottle service that I just recently noticed. You’d think that the minor celebrity-status that bottle services gives you would be a good thing. After all, bottle service is a big indicator of social proof and status and also guarantees you fast admission and good logistics. But there’s a problem with it that you don’t notice at first. Hell, I buy bottles so rarely that it took me several years to notice the trend. What is the trend?

Bottle Service is Counter Productive to Cold Approach Pick Up.

Read the rest of this entry »

Big thanks to everyone who attended the first annual Global Pickup Conference last week. It was a packed house and the other coaches and I volunteered two free infield sessions on Friday and Monday. It was a crazy event. I spoke on Sunday on “Dominance” and why it’s important in pickup and in life. Look for it on the DVDs when they are released.

The event hosts also presented me with the “best fundamentals” award which was pretty cool, despite it looking like a Mystery- Read the rest of this entry »

Quick reminder for those of you not on my email list that I’ll be speaking back-to-back at two giant New York City conferences next month. I’ll be speaking alongside some of the biggest names in the industry (Ross Jeffries, BradP, Love Systems, etc.) over three days each weekend and may offer discounted infield training while I’m in the city. If you live on the East Coast, you don’t want to miss this.
Read the rest of this entry »

Note: This is the first part in a running series of articles about the use of routines in learning game. For more information on routines, see all articles on routines.

Routines, scripts, lines, things to say. Some love ‘em, some hate ‘em, nearly everyone misunderstands them.

For those who are unfamiliar with the term, a routine is simply a memorized script of varying length. So in essence, both our kneejerk “fine” response to “how are you?” and a memorized, pre-scripted story are routines. One is simply longer and more complex than the other. Obviously, all of us use routines in one way or another.

Routines (whether yours or someone else’s) can also take the form of being canned, meaning that you’ve practiced them over and over again until you can deliver them well, or Stock, which means they’re generic, off-the-shelf scripts, usually created by others. Both can be very useful tools, especially if you don’t have a lot of natural talent.

Now before we move on, let’s take a quick quiz. Read the rest of this entry »