The event hosts also presented me with the “best fundamentals” award which was pretty cool, despite it looking like a Mystery-VH1-Medallion. All in all, a great event.

This coming week is the second (and ironically, original) Superconference, the 2010 Dating Conference. Not sure why organizers would pick a domain name that has to be changed every year, but perhaps there’s a method to the madness. In either case, the lineup looks very strong, with speakers including Adam Lyons (who hopefully doesn’t make me look bad as he speaks after me ), BradP, Vin diCarlo, Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks, Entropy, Magic, and others.

If you missed last week’s conference, or if you just want to double up on the massive amount of value being presented at these events, sign up today. Use Code “djfuji2010″ for an additional $15 discount and a free 30-minute LIVE coaching session at the actual event!

I’ll also be offering infield training after the event on Friday and Saturday nights. Price is normally $600/night but event organizers have asked me to discount that so you’ll be able to go infield for nearly a 20% discount! There will only be 3 spots available per night on a first-come, first-serve basis, so make sure you don’t procrastinate on this. Email me to sign up today!

Click to View

I’ve been kind of behind on updating you guys with news and stuff so here are a few updates.

First and foremost, the long-anticipated 21 Convention Documentary Series titled “The Community Tapes” just launched earlier this week with yours truly starting things off. Like with everything he does, including the actual 21 Convention live events, Anthony aka “Dream” really went all-out for this event. One look at even the filming quality (courtesy of the esteemed Michael Gottino) makes that very clear. Other featured documentary interviewees include Steve “El Topo” Mayeda, Drew Baye, Adam Lyons, and Bijal (t21c attendee). I have a lot of respect for those guys and I’m excited to see what they have to say.

As you’ll see in my interview, this series kind of takes us behind-the-scenes and into the minds of some of the speakers that have been featured at the live event. In my segment I talked about my journey, what I’ve learned and gotten from the community, and some of my insights and observations in being a life and dating coach. Take a look and let me know how you guys like it.

In keeping with this “behind-the-scenes” theme, I’ve also recently been featured/interviewed on the J The Ripper Show. JTR’s show is kind of unique. Instead of making it about pickup, he’s made a show that takes a very real, somewhat gritty look at seduction and specifically, the Casanova Crew. It’s neither the puahate/BKRS-style bashing nor the marketing-style promoting of most podcasts. Instead, he takes a documentary-style viewpoint, showing things as unbiased as possible and letting his audience make up their minds for themselves.

I like JTR. He and I go way back, and he’s one of those guys who’s just real. I remember reading his crazy FRs/LRs back in the day and I remember telling him at one point that despite all of the crazy adventures, I liked that he kept it real — for every pull/SNL/day2/whatever, he also included the blow outs, the rejections, and the ‘failures.’ Very, very few guys do that, coaches included. The guy definitely has some wicked skills, but he’s also somehow managed to stay humble, and I think that quality combined with his leadership ability plays a very large part in the success of the Casanova Crew. For an organization of that size, I’m impressed that one man has been able to keep it together this consistently and with near-universal respect among the members. Kudos to JTR for making that happen.

Download here (right-click and choose ‘save as’) or  Stream here (episode 13)

Here are JTR’s highlights from the show:

Behind the PUA Industry Part Deux!

Khan, the “Anti PUA”, writer for HUSTLER Magazine and Robotech comic book writer. Former Casanova Crew member.

*Afraid of RSD?!
*Afraid of J The Ripper?!?!
*Fake ass PUA Guru’s blowing smoke up dudes asses.
*Behind the scenes PUA Industry bullshit stuff Khan wasn’t supposed to know
*Guru’s spewing rehearsed methodologies vs. talking from the heart and keeping it real
*Certain Guru’s pathetically deceptively trying to pass off “sales letters” as actual FR/LR’s
*Khans encounter with a “professional guru”
*JTR Makes Out with Tichina Arnold from “Martin” & “Everyone Hates Chris”?
*Getting laid from bar girls vs. club chicks

DJ Fuji from the Dr Phil Show and Ex-Mehow Chief Instructor!

*Most Disfigured/Handicapped student (answer might surprise you!)
*Getting picked on when he was younger
*Joining the Marines and being under pressure
*Fake ass gurus thinking they can just come into this shit without paying thier dues
*Having two chicks stick their hands under his clothes while boyfriends watch
*Making out with chicks as chode boyfriend watches on
*Being on the Dr. Phil Show
*How he met Mehow and Mystery
*Was he disappointed in anyone’s performance on Infield Insider?
*Becoming Mehow’s #1 coach

For those of you who are in the Northern CA/bay area, I’ll be speaking FREE at the San Francisco Lair this weekend (6PM Sunday, May 2, 2010). I guess it’s not technically free because they’re asking for a small donation to help cover the costs of the seminar room, but I’m speaking entirely pro-bono (no charge).

I’ll be giving away over $1000 in free goodies, and will be doing a 3-hour free mini-workshop. AND in typical DJ Fuji-fashion, I’m ALSO letting you know a WHOLE 2 days in advance lol. Hey I’m a minority. We procrastinate, remember? Technically this is early. And you ain’t doing anything on Sunday afternoon anyway. Come down and say hello and meet a great group of local guys.

I’ll be covering things like:

• The simple technique you can learn in 10 minutes that will eliminate 90% of flakey phone numbers
• The keys to transitioning your interactions OUT of platonic-friend-zones
• Why the vast majority of guys fail in pickup… and what you can do to avoid being a statistic
• A complete breakdown of kinesthetic communication – how to touch, where to touch, when to touch, and why it’s 10x more important than you think it is
• The 5 mistakes you’re making right now that are preventing you from getting laid
• Tons and TONS more content… you aren’t going to want to miss this. It’s not a ‘lair talk,’ it’s a full-on, 3-hour workshop

Sign up here

Quick reminder for those of you not on my email list that I’ll be speaking back-to-back at two giant New York City conferences next month. I’ll be speaking alongside some of the biggest names in the industry (Ross Jeffries, BradP, Love Systems, etc.) over three days each weekend and may offer discounted infield training while I’m in the city. If you live on the East Coast, you don’t want to miss this.

NYC Global Pickup Conference

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The first is New York City’s Global Pickup Conference. Run by the head of probably the biggest lair in NYC, this star-studded event looks pretty badass. Speakers include David Wygant, Vin DiCarlo, Ross Jeffries, El Topo, BradP, and of course your favorite mohawked Asian. The most interesting thing about this event is that it comes with 1 day of infield training included (which I’ll be participating in teaching) and a TON of free goodies. It’s really the first time I’ve ever seen a superconference-type event offer that. Infield training is the gold standard in the development process so this is definitely something you want to take advantage of. It’s a first-year event but I would be highly surprised if this didn’t take off for many years to come. Dates are May 28 – May 31.

Prices are super low for what they’re offering but they’re going up as we get closer to the event, so don’t hold off on this. I’ve arranged with the organizer to get you guys a special deal when you sign up. You’ll get a $15 discount off the already dirt-cheap price and a free 30-minute 1-on-1 video coaching session with me.

Dating Conference 2010

Oddly enough, I’ll ALSO be speaking at another NYC event, and it’s a week later, on June 4-6. Also a first year event, The Dating Conference 2010 also features some big, big names, many of which will speak at both events. But instead of Ross Jeffries, you have Adam Lyons. Instead of Dr. Paul, you have Magic (Side note: If you’re an indian guy reading this and thinking that Indian guys can’t get good at this, you need to meet Magic). There will also be an open bar, lots of goodies and freebies, and perhaps best of all, access to ALL of the video and audio recordings from the event. That means that if you miss a speaker or want to hear his speech again, you will be able to watch it again online and take notes. That’s a HUGE plus, as there’s only so much you can gain from a speech when you only watch it once. There won’t be included infield training, but I will be doing heavily-discounted coaching that weekend that you can take advantage of. The upside to that is that the student-instructor ratios will be lower and thus, you will receive much more individual attention.

Prices for this event are a bit higher but I have also arranged for some cool deals and discounts for you guys. Sign up now using code “djfuji2010″ and get $15 off the ticket price. Then email me and I’ll throw in a free 30-minute 1-on-1 *LIVE coaching session at the actual event! Sign up here

NYC Subway - 3/13/2010. Taken with Panasonic DMC-ZS3 (handheld).

Currently on a 1-on-1 here in NYC but wanted to give you guys a quick update on happenings around here.

I’ll be doing a free seminar/workshop tomorrow (3/14/2010) at 4:30PM in NYC. I guess it’s not technically free because they’re asking for a $14 donation to help cover the costs of the seminar room, but I’m speaking entirely pro-bono (no charge). I’ll also be giving away over $1000 worth of free stuff! If you’re in the NYC area, you won’t want to miss it.

I’ll be covering things like:

• The simple technique you can learn in 10 minutes that will eliminate 90% of flakey phone numbers
• The keys to transitioning your interactions OUT of platonic-friend-zones
• Why the vast majority of guys fail in pickup… and what you can do to avoid being a statistic
• A complete breakdown of kinesthetic communication – how to touch, where to touch, when to touch, and why it’s 10x more important than you think it is
• The 5 mistakes you’re making right now that are preventing you from getting laid
• Tons and TONS more content… you aren’t going to want to miss this. It’s not a ‘lair talk,’ it’s a full-on, 4-hour workshop

More info and signup is on the NYC Lair website. Click here for more details.

I’ll also be posting dates and info on my Spring 2010 boot camp schedule (including two major NYC SuperConferences, 21 Convention Info, and Intensive Immersion Course info) in the next few days so watch for that.

Hey guys, quick update…

A Hollywood producer is working with me on a documentary about the seduction community and is looking for new students who are willing to be filmed on camera. In addition to what could be overnight celebrity status, you’ll also receive thousands of dollars worth of discounted and free training. You’ll have to be located in the greater LA area but this is a fantastic opportunity for anyone who’s been wanting to get good at this but just doesn’t have access to the cash to pay for top-notch training.

Note that you do NOT have to have any experience with pickup. In fact, the producer is actually looking for newer guys to be a part of this.

I know what some of you guys are thinking. “I’d love to do this but oh crap I don’t want to be potentially seen on nationwide movie screens as some newbie who can’t get laid.”

I know you’re thinking this because I thought the exact same thing when I was about to do the Dr. Phil show several years ago. I almost didn’t do it. But I decided to take the shot because I had recently adopted a new life philosophy, and that was that if I was ever on the fence about a particular situation, I’d always err on the side of action.

It was something I had learned from a Carlos Xuma interview a long time ago, and I still live it to this day. It was the philosophy that propelled a 30-day solo North and South American tour even while knowing that I didn’t speak a lick of Spanish. It was the philosophy that got me to break off from the old company and start my own company. And it’s the philosophy that I live every day of my life because it enables me to live knowing that I’m minimizing the one emotion I never want to feel:

…Regret.

I never want to feel that “shoulda woulda coulda” feeling again. I’d rather try and fail than never to have tried at all.

In the end, my Dr. Phil show aired to a nationwide audience, showing not only me, but my wing Kamouflage as well. It showed us as newbies, perhaps the worst thing imaginable considering we were both coaching at the time. And that’s in addition to any family or personal life fiascoes that could have happened.

But guess what?

That episode came and went and nobody cared. In fact, Kamo’s friends (who were not aware of his community involvement) called him from the gym, excited that one of their buddies was famous! All of our fears and anxieties and insecurities about being shown negatively (and if you saw the episode, you know just how negative it was) were figments of our imagination. In the real world, they never happened.

So imagine the kind of regret I’d feel if I never did it because I was afraid. I can live with a little embarrassment, or shame, or even humiliation (even though it never came). But I cannot live with regret. Especially regret due to fear.

Carpe Diem, gents. Seize the day.

3/22/2010 Update: Spots have been filled for the documentary. Thanks to everyone who auditioned.

In case you didn’t recognize the charmingly handsome fellow in the video, that’s me. What you’re watching is a ‘teaser’ trailer to the documentary that’s being produced by Dream, the organizer of the esteemed 21 Convention superconference event which I spoke at (and about) last year in 2009. In case you missed the free, 2 hour lecture from my 2009 speech, check it out.

Of particular note is that today is the last day you can get discounted tickets to the event, so if you’ve been procrastinating on this, now yesterday would be a great time to be proactive.

In fact, I highly recommend the live event in Orlando as not only do you get 4 days of awesome lectures from key players in this field, but El Topo and I (along with some of the other instructors) always do additional free training events afterward. Some guys even take students out into the field for free! That’s worth the cost of admission by itself.

At the end of the day, though, if taking care of this part of your life isn’t worth the couple of hundred bucks that you might otherwise spend on eating out and Starbucks, then you simply don’t want it bad enough. The desire must be there or no amount of training will help. If you truly want to get better, then take these opportunities. You’re selling yourself short if you hesitate and let them pass you by.

For those of you who ARE committed to this, sign up now and I’ll throw in a free 30-minute 1-on-1 phone coaching session! That’s worth almost $100 just by itself. Email me if you have questions or if you’ve signed up and are ready to schedule your coaching call.

I also want to say thanks to all the guys who have enrolled in my 1-day immersion course last weekend and this coming weekend. I honestly did not expect to get that kind of response, but that’s good because it means you guys are dedicated and it means that I’ll definitely be doing these types of events in the future. Stay tuned for more info on future boot camps and training events. I’m currently planning New York, San Francisco, and Austin, TX. I may also be heading to Toronto again this summer along with another 30-day Americas Tour in the fall.

It’s gonna be a busy year, gents. Time to stop thinking about things and start DOING.

There’s been a crapload of things going on here lately that I need to post about but I wanted to throw this out there real quick before I forget.

I’m basically offering two big sales right now that are good until Valentine’s day. Like BIG sales. 50%-off-big. And in typical procrastinator fashion, I was really going to wait until tomorrow to post this, but considering one of them kind of takes place this Saturday, I figured I should probably get a move on.

So here’s the deal.

1. Long Term Training:

The program responsible for my trip to Germany for a student’s wedding is currently on sale until Valentine’s Day. This program is the first and only one of its kind, leveraging extensive 1-on-1 coaching, teleconference lectures,  customized routine stacks, and video coaching several times a month in order to guide you towards achieving your dreams in a fraction of the time it would take you otherwise. Sign up today and save up to $350 off the regular price!

2. 12+ Hour, 1-Day Immersion Course This Weekend in LA SOLD OUT

I’m gonna try out something new with training. My business/marketing advisers say it’s a bad idea but I’m a big fan of testing assumptions so we’ll see.

Basically, it boils down to this: $3000 entire-weekend boot camps are great for a lot of guys — they offer tons of intensive training, an immersion experience, and lots of content. I know, I’ve attended a lot of them as a student and I’ve taught countless programs as an instructor. The only problem with this is… not everyone’s got 3 grand to spend on a boot camp.

So I’m gonna try something different. And by “different” I mean “more affordable.” In a nutshell, it’s seminar, exercises, infield, and debrief –12+ hours of instruction in all… for less than the price of going out to eat for a month. Most entire weekend boot camps don’t contain the amount of training you’re going to get in ONE day. And for half the price or less than what most everyone else is charging. Feel free to look around — I guarantee this is the lowest you’ll EVER find this quality of training. I encourage you to price out my competitors and to search for my boot camp reviews on the forums if you’d like. To my knowledge, I don’t have a single bad review for any of my boot camps, even when I taught for the old company.

So of course there’s a catch. The catch is that because I refuse to sacrifice quality, I have really limited availability (2, MAYBE 3 spots), and I won’t be doing this often because i’m barely breaking even. The other catch is that it’s this Saturday. As in, 2 days from now. If it works well I may hold another one of these next week, but that’s tentative at best.

The REASON I’m doing this is because not everyone can afford thousands of dollars for a boot camp. And training is much more effective when taken NOW rather than later. So to solve that problem, I’m going to try this out. Great quality training at affordable rates. What a concept, huh? It’s basically pro-bono work, but hey, if it’s successful, maybe I’ll do it again sometime in the future. If not, oh well, I tried.

As with all my products and services, if you’re not 100% happy, let me know and I’ll give you a FULL refund. And I won’t pull that bullshit where I try to outframe you into not complaining, either. My results and my students speak for themselves.

Here are the details at a glance:

What: “Fundamentals” Intro Program — 12+ hrs of drills, seminar, & infield coaching
Where: Los Angeles
When: THIS Saturday, Feb 6 OR NEXT Sat, Feb 13. 3PM – 3AM SOLD OUT
Who: DJ Fuji
Spots Open: 2, maybe 3 if there’s a cancellation
Ratio: 3:1 – Lowest in the industry
Cost: $599
Guarantee: 100% satisfaction or full refund

Any questions, feel free to send me an email.

I’m currently in Germany for a student’s wedding. I had coached this guy a few years back on a 1-on-1 and he ended up SNLing during the training… and it eventually turned into a marriage. He’s from Germany so he flew me out here for the wedding to say ‘thank you.’ Very cool guy.

Germany is awesome despite the $35/day extortion fees to get on the internet. And the fact that I have to lie to everyone at the wedding as to how I know the groom. I’m just glad I don’t drive here. My friend went to the gas station earlier and it cost him around $90 to fill the tank on a BMW 5-series. And that’s with paying the cheaper diesel prices. Still over double what we’d pay here in the states.

But I love the culture here. There’s cobblestone streets, statues and museums everywhere, and everyone seems to speak 3 languages, especially since i’m practically sitting on the border of France. Too bad English isn’t one of those languages. Girls are pretty hot, too. I’ll post pictures later.

I’ll be here for a couple of weeks so I’m thinking of doing some training in either Cologne or London next week. I’ll have limited availability for 1:1′s and possibly a boot camp as well. Shoot me an email using the contact form if you’re interested.

“Sure that’s sad and all,” you might say, “but what does that have to do with me?”

The thing is, Sodini had more in common with a lot of us than we’d like to believe. Most psychologists are saying he wasn’t a deranged serial killer who lacked any moral compass. Nor was he a psychotic lunatic that spent his days sniffing glue and eating paint.

No, George Sodini was simply an AFC. An Average, Frustrated, Chump. A very lonely, depressed, AFC. Note: For those of you who aren’t regular readers here, “AFC” is simply the term we use in the dating coaching community to describe a frustrated individual who is tired of being single. It is not meant to be disparaging.

Maybe Sodini was older and more lonely and more psychotic than most of us, but I suspect not. I suspect that he simply lacked one thing. The one thing that this community gave me when I found it.

Hope.

Hope, and the idea that society was wholly incorrect and that I did not in fact have to just accept that I would always remain at the bottom of the social pecking order.

I’m no psychologist, but I’ll bet that Sodini was less of a psycho and more a man who had simply given up because it seemed hopeless. Most of us can certainly relate to that feeling. He recounts his feelings and plans on his blog (I have a cached copy if that link to abcnews gets taken down), and I can’t help but think that all of this sounds very familiar. A computer programmer who doesn’t believe in himself and lacks the social skills to meet and attract women. That hits a bit too close to home. It’s disturbing because I’d like to believe that someone who could cause this much destruction is a monster who has nothing in common with me.

December 24, 2008:

“Moving into Christmas again. No girlfriend since 1984, last Christmas with Pam was in 1983. Who knows why. I am not ugly or too weird. No sex since July 1990 either (I was 29). No shit! Over eighteen years ago. And did it maybe only 50-75 times in my life. Getting to think that a woman now would just, uh, get in the way of things. Isolated. I have extra money and enjoy traveling, too, wtih my 25-30 days of vacation. LA was the best! But going alone is not too fun. Invited to a party on Christmas day tomorrow. Seems about 15-25 people will actually show. I like her parties; I can meet new people and talk. Got the next 8 days off. I should have exit plan done and practiced by then. I know nothing will change, no matter how hard I try or what goals I set.”

That doesn’t sound like the rantings of a psychotic lunatic hell-bent on revenge. Rather, it sounds more like the field reports and journals that get posted to our forums every day.

I remember feeling those pangs of unrequited love and crying my eyes out at the thought that there was nothing I could do about it. I remember being lonely. I remembering being depressed. I remember it like it was yesterday.

And perhaps if any one of us had not found the support of the community to help us through this part of our lives, maybe we would have turned out just like Sodini.

Don’t get me wrong. What he did was a horrific, awful act that all of us — me especially — wish we could have prevented. But the thing is, I think this was preventable, and not by shooting him before he shot those people, either. I think this was avoidable because I’ve had guys just like Sodini in my workshops and seminars. Because I’ve had guys who have told me through tears that they were on the verge of suicide — actually standing on a bridge about to jump off — and that were it not for the community, they would have done it.

And we’ve all been at Lair Meetings where there are 100 guys that are all feeling these same things. Hell, I might have been another Sodini had I not found the community. So instead of judging this man and disassociating ourselves from his plight, let us instead seek to understand and make sure that this never happens again.

“Result is I am learning basics by trial and error in my 40s, followed by discouragement. Seems odd, but that’s true. Writing all this is helping me justify my plan and to see the futility of continuing. Too embarrassed to tell anyone this, at almost 50 one is expected to just know these things.” –George Sodini

As individuals, we see guys like Sodini all the time. He could be your friend. Your brother. Your co-worker. Your son. Your “wingman.” But oftentimes we see the warning signs and we ignore them. Or we dismiss it as “angst,” or “he just needs to relax and be himself.” Even those of us who are actively seeking to improve our dating and relationship lives sometimes see the Sodini’s of the world and think, “not my problem.” I’ve been plenty guilty of that myself, and I’m a coach. But as the famous saying goes (arguably credited to English philosopher Edmund Burke), “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

So the next time you come across someone like Sodini, resist the temptation to look down upon him. And if you’re realizing this feeling of despair and hopelessness describes you, do not be afraid to seek help. Society will have you believe that this makes you a kook, a nutjob, and potentially a criminal. But I can tell you for a fact that all of us have felt that at some time or another. There is no shame in asking for help or in being proactive about improving your dating or relationship life. On the contrary, bottling all of that up only causes it to fester into hate or rage, and we’ve just seen the long term effects of that.

This is why I take my job very seriously. Some people may mock that belief, saying that it’s not that serious– that we’re just teaching guys how to get laid. But I vehemently disagree. I believe that as coaches, gurus, and instructors, we are not merely dating coaches. We are LIFE coaches. We are people who not only need to be able to holistically change and improve a person’s life, but we also need to lead by example.

And so in addition to this being a call to action for individuals and for society as a whole, it is also a call to action for fellow coaches and instructors. It is a call to action to genuinely CARE about your students and to really understand just how much we can change and influence someone’s life. In my opinion, that is not a task to be taken lightly.

Finally, for those of you who are struggling with this self-improvement process and possibly becoming discouraged, keep your head up and don’t ever give up. Because the rewards are worth it. They’re worth every drop of blood, sweat, and tears you put into this. Just remember that ultimately, it’s up to you. You and you alone are responsible for your life and your destiny. Dream big and go after it. Don’t wait around for luck or chance or for the shining white knight. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, “Shallow men believe in luck; wise and strong men believe in cause and effect!”

P.S. Pictures and review of the 21 Convention coming soon!