RSS 2.0Tip of the Week: Eye Contact & Winking
Posted in Tip of the Week on 06/17/2010 05:00 am by DJ Fuji
You guys probably notitced the Tip of the Week section took a temporary hiatus while I was traveling but we’re back on track with this week’s tip on eye contact and winking.
A lot of guys think I get opened a lot when I’m out either teaching or sarging. But the truth of the matter is that while it APPEARS that several dozen women approach me each night, they’re actually only responding to my non-verbal opening earlier in the night. They’re not walking up cold, they’re usually walking up because I was flirting with them through eye contact earlier on in the night.
Eye contact is one of THE most important elements in flirting and pickup. It’s also something that is VASTLY underrated. An inability to hold eye contact will screw up even the most solid interaction in a matter of seconds.
Here’s how to make it work:
1.) When you make eye contact with a woman, whether it be someone walking by or from across the bar, hold it and don’t look away until she does.
2.) You must smile when you make eye contact. If you don’t, you’re going to look less sexy and more rapist. Ditto for blinking. Gaze, but don’t stare.
3.) I like to wink. A lot. It sounds super cheesy on paper but in the moment it’s VERY effective. Sort of like a high 5. Sounds dumb on paper but works like a charm infield. This is the only time I’ll break eye contact. Say I’m walking by the bar and I make eye contact with a woman. I’ll hold the eye contact, smile, then wink and look away as I pass by her. Note that all of this is done slowly and smoothly. Jerky movements will look weird.
As a training experiment, walk down the street and try to make eye contact with everyone you walk by. When you do, smile and say hi as you pass. Unless you’re used to doing this, you’ll generally find it fairly difficult and uncomfortable. Repeat until you become comfortable with it. This will massively improve your non-verbal communication.
Give it a try and feel free to report back on your experiences in the comments.
06/17/2010 at 07:49
Great info, and the vids in the last post were great as well. I’m going to try the winking thing.
06/17/2010 at 15:51
It is truly amazing to myself doing something, and, reading about the very same technique from such a reputable source.
06/20/2010 at 20:35
How odd. I just decided to work on my smiling just TODAY. Thanks for the tips.
06/21/2010 at 03:53
Have you guys realized that smiling actually makes you happier (if you feel bad for example, and you force big smile). I’ve read this somewhere, maybe even from some Fuji’s article or forum post.
06/23/2010 at 09:25
Interesting! I started doing that exercise recently since I started game. It definitely took some time to get comfy with. But I didn’t think of winking, but I’ll so give that a shot … or ten!
Thanks DJ!
Game On!
07/01/2010 at 12:31
great article! but lets say you’re in a bar and lock eye contact with a girl, you smile.. but she just won’t look away. what if she’s giving you the big challenge? for how long it is “ok” to gaze?
07/02/2010 at 01:06
I’m guessing this is a hypothetical situation and you haven’t really experienced this first hand. Because it’s SUPER rare, especially (and I’m guessing here) in Asian countries/cultures.
But to answer your question, you look, she looks, you make eye contact, and then you smile and wink. If she holds the eye contact, do one of three things:
1.) Walk over, smile, and say “you can’t look at me like that and not say hello.”
2.) Motion “come here” with your finger. If she says no (likely), laugh and wave your finger back and forth as if to say “bad girl”. Then go back to what you were doing. You’re doing a temporary takeaway. Remember that she wants you to approach so finish up what you were doing and then go over.
3.) Lip sync “i love you” to her with a huge grin on your face. See if she does it back. If she does, walk over (see step 1). If she doesn’t, make a sad face and do a thumbs down. She’ll laugh. Then go to step 2.
07/25/2010 at 14:04
Good points as always, Fuji.
09/18/2010 at 10:16
wow… great information… this is super insightful… keep on bringing the goods man.