Comments on: Bad Pickup Advice: Part I http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=bad-pickup-advice-part-i Even a 1,000 mile journey starts with a single step Mon, 09 Jan 2012 20:09:55 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: DJ Fuji http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/#comment-357 DJ Fuji Wed, 17 Feb 2010 14:00:34 +0000 http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249#comment-357 @Aly Al: It does seem expensive to hire professionals in this industry. But just for fun, let's compare hourly rates and see how expensive it *really* is. Rates Per Hour for varying professionals (independent consultants) at the top of their industry: - Plumber: $140-250+ (according to google searches) - Computer Programmer: $100-250+ (rates when I was Programming) - Life Coach: $200+ - Lawyer: $300+ - Exotic Dancer: $300+ <strong>Pickup Coach: $87.5 (equivalent hourly rate based on a full day of 1:1 training)</strong> As you can see, I was making a hell of a lot more in computers and I wasn't even that good of a programmer. Full time coaching for me is a PASSION, not an economically-based decision. As far as finding a free mentor, even monetarily free mentoring comes at a price. Maybe your mentor values hard workers and wants to pass on his knowledge to the next generation. Maybe like Style, you have some other value to him (e.g., Style had access to Hollywood celebrities thru his work). Maybe he's your dad's friend and owes your dad a favor. Whatever the case is, nothing is free in this world. It might not always cost you actual cash, but it will cost SOMETHING at SOME time to SOMEone. Now if you have more time than money (which is a lot of people), that doesn't mean you can't get monetarily free training. You'll just have to substitute your time instead. Say you recruit 4 or 5 guys who want to take a boot camp and you get them to sign up. In most locations, I'll not only fly out to your city on my expense, but i'll run the boot camp and let YOU attend the boot camp for "free." Or more accurately, we will trade services -- your labor in recruiting students and my labor in coaching you. That's why I always say that guys who don't take training are either stubborn, let their ego get in the way of their success, or lazy. Or some combination thereof. Anyone can "afford" training, no matter how broke. You just have to be creative. I trained with most of the best in the world and often times ended up trading services to make it happen. You can as well, you just have to go after it. @Aly Al:

It does seem expensive to hire professionals in this industry. But just for fun, let’s compare hourly rates and see how expensive it *really* is.

Rates Per Hour for varying professionals (independent consultants) at the top of their industry:

- Plumber: $140-250+ (according to google searches)
- Computer Programmer: $100-250+ (rates when I was Programming)
- Life Coach: $200+
- Lawyer: $300+
- Exotic Dancer: $300+

Pickup Coach: $87.5 (equivalent hourly rate based on a full day of 1:1 training)

As you can see, I was making a hell of a lot more in computers and I wasn’t even that good of a programmer. Full time coaching for me is a PASSION, not an economically-based decision.

As far as finding a free mentor, even monetarily free mentoring comes at a price. Maybe your mentor values hard workers and wants to pass on his knowledge to the next generation. Maybe like Style, you have some other value to him (e.g., Style had access to Hollywood celebrities thru his work). Maybe he’s your dad’s friend and owes your dad a favor. Whatever the case is, nothing is free in this world. It might not always cost you actual cash, but it will cost SOMETHING at SOME time to SOMEone.

Now if you have more time than money (which is a lot of people), that doesn’t mean you can’t get monetarily free training. You’ll just have to substitute your time instead. Say you recruit 4 or 5 guys who want to take a boot camp and you get them to sign up. In most locations, I’ll not only fly out to your city on my expense, but i’ll run the boot camp and let YOU attend the boot camp for “free.” Or more accurately, we will trade services — your labor in recruiting students and my labor in coaching you.

That’s why I always say that guys who don’t take training are either stubborn, let their ego get in the way of their success, or lazy. Or some combination thereof. Anyone can “afford” training, no matter how broke. You just have to be creative. I trained with most of the best in the world and often times ended up trading services to make it happen. You can as well, you just have to go after it.

]]> By: DJ Fuji http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/#comment-355 DJ Fuji Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:43:34 +0000 http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249#comment-355 Fade, Being a trainer means putting in years of work not only to refine your own game, but to have such a strong grasp of it that you can impart that knowledge on others. Now can just anyone create a website and start teaching? Sure. There's no certification process to this so anyone can claim to be an expert and start teaching. But that doesn't mean he'll be a GOOD teacher. Just like learning as a student, there is no easy fix to learning to be a teacher. It takes experience, guidance, coaching, and discipline. It's really just the same process, only on other side of the fence. What I would recommend to all guys who want to start coaching is this: First get good at game. Be able to consistently get laid from cold approach. Clean up your big mistakes and sticking points. You can't be coaching guys to not lean in and then you go into a set and lean into them. Then intern for an established coach or someone who can teach you how to teach. Someone you respect AS A TEACHER. Eventually you'll graduate to full-blown instructor where you can continue to teach under his tutelage or go off on your own. Hope this helps, -dj fuji Fade,

Being a trainer means putting in years of work not only to refine your own game, but to have such a strong grasp of it that you can impart that knowledge on others. Now can just anyone create a website and start teaching? Sure. There’s no certification process to this so anyone can claim to be an expert and start teaching. But that doesn’t mean he’ll be a GOOD teacher. Just like learning as a student, there is no easy fix to learning to be a teacher. It takes experience, guidance, coaching, and discipline. It’s really just the same process, only on other side of the fence.

What I would recommend to all guys who want to start coaching is this: First get good at game. Be able to consistently get laid from cold approach. Clean up your big mistakes and sticking points. You can’t be coaching guys to not lean in and then you go into a set and lean into them. Then intern for an established coach or someone who can teach you how to teach. Someone you respect AS A TEACHER. Eventually you’ll graduate to full-blown instructor where you can continue to teach under his tutelage or go off on your own.

Hope this helps,

-dj fuji

]]> By: Fade http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/#comment-353 Fade Tue, 16 Feb 2010 17:12:07 +0000 http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249#comment-353 Long time reader, first time poster. For anyone who hasn't seen DJ Fuji's Under 21 speech, go watch it NOW. I like the way that you call out (without being a complete dickhead like sinn) the ways at which community teachers are flawed OR can be better teachers. So you've told us how NOT to do it, but how about HOW to do it. Can you give me some insight on how to become a professional pick up trainer? I already do it for free, but I am unsure as to how to attract potential clientele to pay for my services? I don't want to start a company, i just want to train 1 or 2 guys intensively for a *very* affordable price in the Boston area. I can be reached at dp8el@aol.com Long time reader, first time poster. For anyone who hasn’t seen DJ Fuji’s Under 21 speech, go watch it NOW.

I like the way that you call out (without being a complete dickhead like sinn) the ways at which community teachers are flawed OR can be better teachers.

So you’ve told us how NOT to do it, but how about HOW to do it.

Can you give me some insight on how to become a professional pick up trainer? I already do it for free, but I am unsure as to how to attract potential clientele to pay for my services? I don’t want to start a company, i just want to train 1 or 2 guys intensively for a *very* affordable price in the Boston area.

I can be reached at dp8el@aol.com

]]> By: Aly Al http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/#comment-352 Aly Al Tue, 16 Feb 2010 04:36:42 +0000 http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249#comment-352 Well I think most professionals worth hiring have gone over the top with their prices, but that's just my opinion. I have been lucky enough to find a mentor in my profession, multi-million dollar company owner who has taken me under his wing, yet he could charge for letting someone one see how he makes his money. Well regardless thank you for your advice though, I really appreciate it, and your right maybe I just got lucky finding one person in this world like my boss. Do you have any suggestions on maybe finding a solution to my problems mysself? Again thank you for your time as I understand that you could charge me for even your simplest advice, lol. Well I think most professionals worth hiring have gone over the top with their prices, but that’s just my opinion. I have been lucky enough to find a mentor in my profession, multi-million dollar company owner who has taken me under his wing, yet he could charge for letting someone one see how he makes his money. Well regardless thank you for your advice though, I really appreciate it, and your right maybe I just got lucky finding one person in this world like my boss. Do you have any suggestions on maybe finding a solution to my problems mysself? Again thank you for your time as I understand that you could charge me for even your simplest advice, lol.

]]> By: DJ Fuji http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/#comment-351 DJ Fuji Tue, 16 Feb 2010 01:27:37 +0000 http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249#comment-351 You want a free mentor? Sorry man, nothing is free. You can get a free wingman who can give you tips. Or you can trade services with a coach. But you're not going to get professional-level training for nothing. You might as well go onto car forums and ask someone to repair your engine for free. If you want it bad enough, find a service you can trade for training or make some extra cash with whatever skills you have and take training. You want a free mentor? Sorry man, nothing is free. You can get a free wingman who can give you tips. Or you can trade services with a coach. But you’re not going to get professional-level training for nothing. You might as well go onto car forums and ask someone to repair your engine for free. If you want it bad enough, find a service you can trade for training or make some extra cash with whatever skills you have and take training.

]]> By: Aly Al http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/#comment-350 Aly Al Tue, 16 Feb 2010 01:22:18 +0000 http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249#comment-350 WHERE the hell can I find a really good mentor around my area, NYC area???!?!? I am sooo stuck, Im not a bad looking guy, sociable, confident, but something is not working for me because I havent been able to pull more then ten girls, that I want, aka decide wow she is soo cute (and yes I open them most of the time). NEED help thanks for your time guys. Btw the way not wingmen, an actual mentor, I can't afford a bootcamp lmao. WHERE the hell can I find a really good mentor around my area, NYC area???!?!? I am sooo stuck, Im not a bad looking guy, sociable, confident, but something is not working for me because I havent been able to pull more then ten girls, that I want, aka decide wow she is soo cute (and yes I open them most of the time). NEED help thanks for your time guys. Btw the way not wingmen, an actual mentor, I can’t afford a bootcamp lmao.

]]> By: TANK http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/#comment-251 TANK Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:00:33 +0000 http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249#comment-251 This is one of the better posts I've read in a while. I really like how you talk about the exception rule. As a overweight asian guy with balding hair I can tell from my experience that going direct has done a lot for my confidence. Also I noticed for a asian guy, it can be better if a asian guy just goes direct versus indirect. A lot of white girls just assume your not sexual and aggressive from the stereotype so it works in your advantage to very sexual. my two cents. love your posts fuji This is one of the better posts I’ve read in a while. I really like how you talk about the exception rule. As a overweight asian guy with balding hair I can tell from my experience that going direct has done a lot for my confidence. Also I noticed for a asian guy, it can be better if a asian guy just goes direct versus indirect. A lot of white girls just assume your not sexual and aggressive from the stereotype so it works in your advantage to very sexual. my two cents.

love your posts fuji

]]> By: Steve (el topo) http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/#comment-240 Steve (el topo) Thu, 26 Nov 2009 17:22:21 +0000 http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249#comment-240 Nice Post Fuji. I should take my own advice but man you gotta post more. You're the best teacher with a technical game approach more people should know about you man. As Fuji is saying here...You may have all the tools but if you don’t use them to your advantage, you wont get anywhere! Therefore, you really need to have yourself examine – your skills and advantages. Sometimes, it is really hard to check what your good traits are. It is easier to point out the negativity in yourself than focus on the positive. That is why it is better that you have someone look at your, analyze who you are and what you do. With the perfect analysis, you can have the power to do anything you’d like to do – in terms of hooking up that is ☺ http://www.theredmole.com/ http://www.youtube.com/user/theREDmolecom Nice Post Fuji. I should take my own advice but man you gotta post more. You’re the best teacher with a technical game approach more people should know about you man.
As Fuji is saying here…You may have all the tools but if you don’t use them to your advantage, you wont get anywhere! Therefore, you really need to have yourself examine – your skills and advantages. Sometimes, it is really hard to check what your good traits are. It is easier to point out the negativity in yourself than focus on the positive. That is why it is better that you have someone look at your, analyze who you are and what you do. With the perfect analysis, you can have the power to do anything you’d like to do – in terms of hooking up that is ☺
http://www.theredmole.com/
http://www.youtube.com/user/theREDmolecom

]]> By: 6 Things to Know How to Pick a Good Dating Coach http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/#comment-213 6 Things to Know How to Pick a Good Dating Coach Tue, 17 Nov 2009 08:32:02 +0000 http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249#comment-213 [...] I recommend you guys read this article by DjFuji http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249 [...] [...] I recommend you guys read this article by DjFuji http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249 [...]

]]> By: DJ Fuji http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/2009/10/02/bad-pickup-advice-part-i/#comment-198 DJ Fuji Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:23:03 +0000 http://www.taoofdjfuji.com/?p=249#comment-198 @Hammer: Forgot to post about this earlier. The More Disqualified -> More Aggressive thing only works sometimes. It's more of a "sometimes you can do this" than a rule. Say, for example, that you're a 60 year old guy in a college club. You can't go super aggressive with a girl. Too much social pressure for her. Not to mention the ick factor. The reason that it works with black girls is because <a href="http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2009/10/05/your-race-affects-whether-people-write-you-back/" rel="nofollow">black girls like everyone</a>. With skinny, docile-looking white or asian guys, it works because you are being negatively stereotype for not being aggressive ENOUGH. It DOESN'T work on other disqualifiers. A ghetto black guy in an asian club, for example, is super disqualified, but doesn't win any points by being MORE aggressive. @Hammer:

Forgot to post about this earlier. The More Disqualified -> More Aggressive thing only works sometimes. It’s more of a “sometimes you can do this” than a rule. Say, for example, that you’re a 60 year old guy in a college club. You can’t go super aggressive with a girl. Too much social pressure for her. Not to mention the ick factor.

The reason that it works with black girls is because black girls like everyone. With skinny, docile-looking white or asian guys, it works because you are being negatively stereotype for not being aggressive ENOUGH. It DOESN’T work on other disqualifiers. A ghetto black guy in an asian club, for example, is super disqualified, but doesn’t win any points by being MORE aggressive.

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