I stopped by a local dating advice forum the other day and a bunch of guys were debating whether online dating was useful if you weren’t tall, good looking, white, etc. I’ve actually gotten this question a LOT recently so thought I’d finally put it to rest. Read the rest of this entry »
One of the biggest misunderstandings in the world of dating instruction (and by association, the larger self-improvement world) is the belief that one must always be “congruent.” Specifically, the idea that what you say and how you say it or who you are should always match up. So in other words, if you say something that a “cool” person would say but you don’t seem or act “cool,” then you’re incongruent and people see right through your words.
This concept was originally popularized by Erik “Mystery” von Markovic and was revolutionary in its time for explaining why just saying the right lines wasn’t enough to drastically improve your interactions with women.
But along the way, congruence became something that people started to use as an excuse for why they couldn’t improve. It became a way of holding themselves back. Men learning how to improve their dating lives began striving for congruence not by improving themselves and learning to be confident with what they were saying, but by simply not saying or doing anything that didn’t match up with their existing persona. Read the rest of this entry »
I have a love/hate relationship with failure. That is, for the first few years of my journey, failure loved me and I absolutely hated it. It often felt like a dark cloud that would follow me around all the time. But despite all of my disadvantages in dating (5’4″, asian, introvert, lacking social skills, etc), I eventually acquired one thing that helped me overcome all of that — I had a friend who taught me that my biggest weakness wasn’t anything I could see, touch, or observe. Read the rest of this entry »
Infield with Quagmire the Guru
Quick post tonight… thought I’d pass this along to you guys. The TV show Family Guy just aired an episode called “Tiegs for Two” that’s unmistakably about PUAs. Read the rest of this entry »
Yes, I did just post a Street Fighter 4 screenshot
All right, quick little status update for everyone and then a fun little bonus video at the end.
So first off, yes, I am still alive, and yes, tales of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. What actually happened during my 3-month-hiatus was that for some reason, everyone decided to sign up for my Long Term Coaching Program.
All at once.
I’m not exactly sure why. I was pretty content to coach the small group I had in 2010, but something happened in 2011 Read the rest of this entry »
Merry Xmas, all. Hope you are all spending time with family and loved ones. I actually have a present for all of you which I’ll get to in a minute.
But first I wanted to address a question I received via email today that I’m guessing a LOT of you are wondering about:
Hey man, love the blog. I have a question about routines. When I got started I used a bunch of routines for the attraction phase and got decent results out of it. By the end I could get phone numbers on a pretty consistent basis, and some were flaky but some were solid. I wanted to check my skill level without routines so I started using a social opener, and then following it up with relying on my conversation skills off the bat. What I find is that most conversations went well, but some girls would just stand around and give one word input indefinitely. I imagine this is sometimes because they aren’t interested, and sometimes because they are just boring, so in either case I usually just walk away after a minute. Is there something I am missing here? Am I being too quick to judge? If so, what’s the best way to deal with this contingency? -J
As of today, you now have 11 days left in the year 2010. Seems like the year flew by, huh? I know it did for me.
Most of us are probably thinking about New Years, or Christmas, or what our resolutions are going to be for 2011. But don’t wait for January to start doing things. Here are seven things (in no particular order) you can and should do in the next 11 days to close out 2010 with a bang. Read the rest of this entry »
Don't be a pussy.
This week we’re going to continue with the Top 5. You’ll notice most of the things in this list revolve around the myths created by the marketing and the deification of the ‘gurus’ in the industry. But I won’t spoil it all yet.
Let’s get into it. Read the rest of this entry »
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