December 16, 2013

Why You Need a Wingman

1 comment

Written by DJ Fuji         Topics: Pickup Wingmanship, circa 2006

Preface from DJ Fuji

Those of you who follow my blog know that one of my “secrets to success” has always been the legendary “wingmen” (e.g., guys who support each other and learn to date and approach women together) that helped me to get to where I am today. I’m convinced that without them, you wouldn’t be reading this because I never would have achieved my goals with dating and I never would have become a coach.

Mike Kamo is one of those men. We’ve struggled together, double dated together, and eventually coached together. And I can confidently say that he’s one of the most talented individuals I’ve ever met. Much of what I have accomplished and what I teach today has its roots in what I learned from him.

The following guest post discusses a meta-concept behind learning to improve your dating life. It’s something that I think a lot of men overlook because they just don’t know any better.

That concept, of course, is wingmanship. Enjoy.

Enter Mike Kamo [Read More]

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Written by DJ Fuji         Topics: Current Events

Everyone thinks Black Friday weekend (and the accompanying holiday season) is great for deals.

What they don’t realize is that it’s even better if you’re learning how to improve your dating life.

Dating is a skill like anything else. And if you want to succeed at it, it’s a skill that you must be either born with or that you must learn. This holiday season, go out but don’t bother actually shopping unless you really need to buy something. Instead, go out and approach women.

There are droves of women shopping this weekend and very few of them will be approached because all of the men are at electronics stores or at home playing xbox one (spoiler: Call of Duty Ghosts sucked).

When it comes to dating, there’s something that pros understand that amateurs rarely get:

It’s that WHEN you do something and HOW you do it is much more important than WHAT you do.

I’m going to give you two key strategies here that will change the way you look at the holiday season. And if you stick around, I’m going to offer a rare bonus to a few of you as well.

Strategy #1:

Don’t bother with Black Friday shopping unless you like huge crowds of soccer Moms who fighting over the last ipads. And avoid best buy, the apple store, or any electronics store for that matter. Best bet? Department stores, Sephora, and high end malls that have boutiques or clothing stores which carry >$500 shoes. Go between 12p-6p this saturday or sunday. After this weekend, malls start staying open REALLY late. Take advantage of this. If you like professional women, go between 4p-11p and dress sharp. If you like college-aged, go earlier or on weekends and be prepared to approach groups versus women by themselves. In both scenarios, make sure you smile, dress well, smell good, and know where the nearest Starbucks is (because you’re going to ask her to grab a cup of coffee with you if things go well).

Strategy #2:

Open Direct (“I saw you and thought you’re absolutely adorable.”)

Don’t bother with indirect, or situational, or any of the gimmicky stuff unless you’re already super good at direct (at which point you probably wouldn’t be reading this email). Direct improves your confidence, builds attraction, and develops your social skills. It’s terrifying to do for the first time, but try it out. It’s not nearly as bad as it seems.

I have a ton more tips to share but I don’t want you to get bogged down in theory and consequently not approach.

The holidays are in full swing right now and that means that you have one of the best times of the year to practice and improve your skills when it comes to dating.

And for those of you who’ve made it this far, I also have a free “Black Friday” bonus for you.

Over the next week or so, I’ll be giving away free half-hour phone coaching sessions to a select few of you. These sessions normally retail for $125 and allow us to sit down 1-on-1 so that I can evaluate your sticking points and give you advice on how to skyrocket your progress. I have a limited number of spots available so don’t miss out. Once they’re gone, you’re out of luck.

FREE 30-minute Phone Coaching Session (limited availability)


Read What Others Have To Say About Our Coaching…

Note: These comments are all UNSOLICITED, meaning that I did not ask, beg, cajole, or bribe people for them. In fact, these comments were all posted without my knowledge, permission, or approval. They are honest, off-the-cuff remarks made by people who have worked with me.

“His infield feedback was absolutely brilliant when he taught me. Definitely one of the top coaches out there.”
– “October” Posting on the Forums

“DJ Fuji is quite possibly the best instructor on the planet for teaching guys the solid fundamentals necessary to really get the kind of women you want in your life. Kudos for interviewing him. He is seriously a force to be reckoned with in the dating community.”
–Nick Quick/Adonis from, commenting on a blog post

“…I took Fuji’s workshop and got a solid push in the right direction. I got a complete reboot with a complete outer game method that I can use to build my muscles the right way. And I learned some new strategies for learning. By going through all the elements of game with Fuji I was able to identify the things I have learned really well and the things I need a lot of work on. I got some high octane material to use for attraction.”
–”Fearless” Posting on The Forums

“Weird. I just ran into djfuji, and I’m guessing all his wings, or bootcamp students. Totally solid game, solid guy, and definitely a guy to look up too. Too bad I didn’t hear about this group until it was to late. But i can definitely tell you guys he stays close to his students and cares more than anything that they get the most they can in every moment in life.”
–”Pulse.One” Posting on



Written by DJ Fuji         Topics: Uncategorized

Welcome to the new Tao of DJ Fuji website.

If you’re a regular reader, welcome back. You’ll notice we’ve moved things around a bit and spruced up the old 2007-era site.

And if you’re new here, welcome to the blog. As you might have surmised, we are a group of confidence and dating coaches who are dedicated to changing the lives of our clients. If you’re interested in learning more, you may want to start with our about page.

We also have a brand new videos page which highlights some of the best video content from our coaching staff.

And if you’re ready to make change in your own life, start by signing up for our free newsletter or looking into our coaching programs.



Written by DJ Fuji         Topics: General

This past weekend marked both the Marine Corps 237th Birthday and Veteran’s Day. If you happened to see a bunch of Marines in uniform recently, that’s why.

Every year on 10 November, Marines around the world celebrate the Marine Corps Birthday. It is one of many traditions that bind Marines together as brothers-in-arms.

I want to take a moment to not only say “Happy Birthday” to my fellow Marines out there, but to also thank those who have served, who are serving, and who continue to serve in the Armed Forces. Your sacrifice and dedication to duty does not go unappreciated.

From time to time I’ll have veterans (and some active duty) military personnel sign up for my training and programs and services. It’s always an honor and a pleasure to work with military guys (and in particular, Marines) because they’re disciplined, motivated, and know what it means to give it everything they’ve got. That’s what makes them successful in the military, and it’s what will make them successful at dating

It’s not listed on the site (though it should be), but military/law enforcement/fire always get a 10% discount on any of my services. This year, though, I’d like to start a tradition of my own. For the entire month of November, all military personnel (active/reserve/veterans) can take a 20% discount on any of my services or products. And for those Marines out there who are interested in training, contact me and I’ll put something special together for you.

Semper Fidelis.



Written by DJ Fuji         Topics: General

I stopped by a local dating advice forum the other day and a bunch of guys were debating whether online dating was useful if you weren’t tall, good looking, white, etc. I’ve actually gotten this question a LOT recently so thought I’d finally put it to rest. [Read More]


July 3, 2012

The Congruence Paradox


Written by DJ Fuji         Topics: Pickup

dos equis paradox

One of the biggest misunderstandings in the world of dating instruction (and by association, the larger self-improvement world) is the belief that one must always be “congruent.” Specifically, the idea that what you say and how you say it or who you are should always match up. So in other words, if you say something that a “cool” person would say but you don’t seem or act “cool,” then you’re incongruent and people see right through your words.

This concept was originally popularized by Erik “Mystery” von Markovic and was revolutionary in its time for explaining why just saying the right lines wasn’t enough to drastically improve your interactions with women.

But along the way, congruence became something that people started to use as an excuse for why they couldn’t improve. It became a way of holding themselves back. Men learning how to improve their dating lives began striving for congruence not by improving themselves and learning to be confident with what they were saying, but by simply not saying or doing anything that didn’t match up with their existing persona. [Read More]


July 12, 2011

How to Deal with Failure


Written by DJ Fuji         Topics: Approach Anxiety,Self Improvement


I have a love/hate relationship with failure. That is, for the first few years of my journey, failure loved me and I absolutely hated it. It often felt like a dark cloud that would follow me around all the time. But despite all of my disadvantages in dating (5’4″, asian, introvert, lacking social skills, etc), I eventually acquired one thing that helped me overcome all of that — I had a friend who taught me that my biggest weakness wasn’t anything I could see, touch, or observe. [Read More]